I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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