Quick, to the slutcave!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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