Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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