i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
