Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
