Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
