so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
