Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
