You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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