Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
