4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dear god my vagina.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
