Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
