the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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