and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
