I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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