I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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