What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
