I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
