Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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