This girl is more easily done than said...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
