whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
