i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Found your dick twin last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
