We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
