tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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