idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
