My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
