I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
