nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
