And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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