I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
