Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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