I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
