It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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