dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
