that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
