and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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