What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
