you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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