Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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