Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
