He is an equal opportunity slut.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
