he wants to bone in the snuggie
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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