I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
