Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
