i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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