I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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