if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
