OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
