I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
