Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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