No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
